The first thing to remember is that unlike a proper scoring system, every rating in the Swimming & Coffee Rating System is entirely subjective, and the formula is subject to random change.
| ⭐️ Overall | Overall rating out of 5 stars. |
| 🩲 Speedo Rating | An approximation of lap-swimability. One speedo suggests the pool was full of boardie and bikini wearers lazing around getting in the way. Five speedos is the maximum rating where you’d find everyone in budgies or swimsuits doing laps. |
| 🏊♂️ Friendliness & Pool Etiquette | Every pool starts with 5 out of 5 and loses points every time someone pushes off in front as you’re coming into the wall, gets in the way of the T making it hard to turn, or generally infringes on the rules of Pool Etiquette as amusingly laid down by Mr Ocean Swims himself, Paul Ellercamp. You’d have thought that a 5/5 Speedo Rating would come with a 5/5 Etiquette Rating but not necessarily – as Paul notes, boofheads and dickheads abound. |
| 🪄 Magic | This is what I’m looking for. The magical factor was what gave North Sydney its 6 stars out of 5. It’s a complicated formula that takes into account location and aspect, the depth, clarity and taste of the water, friendliness of staff and lifeguards, and a feeling that “this could only be Sydney”. |
| 🚿 Facilities | Getting the basics right. Points are awarded for warm showers, clean and dry (seriously, how hard is it to install a drain) changing rooms. Points are lost for excessive non-swimming facilities. We’re looking for a pool not a leisure centre. Saunas, Spas, Sun Decks great…. water slides and kid’s splashing pools, no thanks. |
Swimming & Coffee 